Int. Lions Gate Studios, Vancouver, British Columbia – Night

Posted by: on Jan 29, 2007 | No Comments

THE POLICE are rehearsing for their reunion tour. ANDY SUMMERS plugs in his guitar, grabs the neck of it with his left hand and turns the volume knob all the way with his right. STEWART COPELAND takes off his coat and sits on his drum seat. He is wearing a t-shirt and shorts. STING walks in with his Fender Jazz Bass already around his neck.

Andy
You bastard.
Sting
You bastard.
Stewart
You bastard.

All three smile at one another and then begin their set with “The Bed’s Too Big Without You.” It’s been too long. The song finishes and hangs in the air. They don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Int. WordPress Blog Admin Interface – Day

Posted by: on Jan 2, 2007 | No Comments

HARRY stares at the computer screen on his desk. The screen shows the front page of harrylove.org. His fingertips rest gently on the keyboard but he types nothing. A SIAMANG sits on the desk next to the computer with one hand on his chin. He looks at Harry.

Harry
I think this design was ill-conceived. Do you think it was ill-conceived? I think I need to redesign again. I know, it’s the fifth time in less than a year but it’s not right. It doesn’t feel right. It’s not right. Ill-conceived and… it just doesn’t sit well with me. What do you think?

The siamang reaches out and holds Harry’s hand.

Harry
Yeah, I’m just glad you’re here.

Int. Hospital Doctor’s Office – Day

Posted by: on Nov 8, 2006 | No Comments

LOUIS is sitting in a folding chair next to a bland, white linoleum table, flipping through a thick pile of stapled medical forms. Across from him are two RESEARCHERS in lab coats and thick, dark-rimmed glasses. Both have comb-overs.

Louis
So what do you want to do exactly?
Researcher #1
We’d like to give you a pill which is made up of synthesized gluteal tissue and have you swallow it and then we’d like to study the results.

Louis thinks a moment and stares at the two researchers.

Louis
You want me to swallow a pill made of fake ass?
Researcher #1
Yes.
Louis
Is it safe?
Researcher #2
Well if we knew that we wouldn’t be studying the effects.